No one will ever understand how calmly safe I always feel when I'm next to you. I don't even understand the feelings flood when I'm next to you. In the car next to you, with the sunlight leaking through fluffs of clouds and seeping rays of light onto your face. Your eyes are light brown, milky skin, the twinkling shine in your eyes, and I see it and I thought of only one single thing: this, this person here is your home. You with your smiles next to me, me, with you, and my favourite songs playing merely because fuck you know how much I loved those songs.
I understand so many patterns and shapes and oblivious of so many others, but I run my hands through jagged glasses and I know the many shapes of heartbreak. I understand that even after months of separation, the love I feel for you is dormant but always there for the time when I see you again. Always.
My friend came up to me the other day and asked me if there was one thing I'd really wanted to have right then but tell me how the fuck do I tell anyone else that I want you to stay and be near to me. God, the things I would do to make it right for you to stay. What I wouldn't give for us to stay.
But that isn't me. That wouldn't be right.
There is no one person in this world that should have the right to stop you from seeing the world, to grow, to love, to leave.
I am dying every single day since I last saw you and I have been crying because it hurts so much to practice saying goodbye and saying the right things to say before the person you love leave. My heart is heavier than lead and I cannot stop myself from longing to feel safe again. Although that feeling is no longer mine to have, to cherish, I drown in greediness of wanting things I cannot have. I will be there for when you leave. I hope you would remember me and I will be there for when you come home.
No set fate escape a careful fix. I believe an abyss of space and time between is no match for the fated.
