You were the riotous kid that never grew up. You with your pure cheery laughs as you bury your hand in your neck, smiley eyes, fidgeting.
Your enthusiastic smiles along with your questions and you loved running from your problem it's become a problem. Your laughs, oh, the way you put your hands over your mouth as you laugh, fuck, how fucking beautiful.
Did you forget crying? I remember the guilt. Very soft, you are. I'm sorry I can't get enough of that because you're so fucking pretty when you're soft. I love the reimaging of the days when you were near even if I know it is wrong to feel so. Darling, the days have passed and I know I said I never hated you, I know it's a dead end but I kept thinking of the sleepy-faced you in that CD, all the gushing words of comforts and the single stalk rose with that three damned words.
The loving memories I bore in my mind are scattered. Wish I can reread the letters I wrote for your birthday last year. God, how is it that you never noticed I've been learning so hard to love you? You must've been fucking blind that is. It is almost Valentine and whatever I might do, I cannot send you another cheesy card that says 'ur the powerhouse of my life' with a diagram of mitochondria anymore. That's some sad news.
But I'll be here writing to you when it all gets too much. I miss your face and that half ass smile you've got and the cheesy shits you did, the corny jokes we exchanged and every single fucking thing that evaporated so easily after it ends.
It's nothing to grieve over. What we felt wasn't all a lie, most parts of it were real. A day or two in February I miss to hear your voice and all but I'd get by. You're coming back to this deadbeat town soon and I hope the Sun stay sunny when March comes along.
I love you.
Goodbye.
