i caress her face so filled with fears in my heart.
anybody who looked like that, god sake, is bound to bring pain and i am living at her mercy.
she held me all throughout wednesday night when i asked
for her name as midnight falls and she softly called my name instead.
i wondered all night of all the different names she could have
and how it would taste on my tongue if i say it with grace.
how sad i'll never learn that of her.
i woke up and the roller shades were up, the door shut and dawn filtering in,
sunrays like coffee drips, filling the room.
then there's this hollowness of knowing that if she ever dials my number
i can't ever know what i would say despite having a bottomless
silence i desperately want to fill with just
saying her name
over and over and over again
until she forgets mine.
oh misery, i've learned to love until i lose it.
if it scorched you, i'll stick around until it's lukewarm, until it's
palatable on my tongue.
my ego never bruised. it's a shame.
