This will be a list of things that I believe in, but there will be no list and there is no
assurance of the true extent of my belief in the subjects. I find myself failing to blur the middle
between two ends, leaving me lost in the greys and there's a line that I shouldn't cross but I
like to just challenge the balance.
It helps to feel something.
Believing in someone is a lot of work so don't throw yourself out there to be wasted
by hands of people who can't work things right. They make me sick.
You know who I'm talking of, right? I hope you do
so you can tell that the blue sky they wake up to, the first light of the day that falls on them
in the morning
isn't there to be poetic, but as reminder that it is blue today just to make you miss it
when you wake up on a rainy day.
Of one separate piece detached off of an entity, it should be approached with understanding.
Context and balance. People can't change. I keep believing that, but who am I to say
when I've seen myself as a different person yesterday than I am today way too many times?
The smallest gesture proves as much as the most grandiose word does.
You wanna know how to survive?
Dissect your insides, find what caused the pain, discard it.
Or maybe you loved the poisonous part of yourself the most that you never want to let go.
Not all of us are courageous people, not all of us are understanding people,
not all of us are patience-laden people.
Imagine it like this: you are stabbed with a little pink pocket knife, the knife gets twisted
inside you, torqued, buried on you.
All you've learned all your life is to not take that thing out of where it made its' mark,
and for good reasons too.
It's all subtle. You don't pick the signs up at first glance.
You don't realize the ropes are frayed.
You don't realize it's growing in your yard.
It blooms when you're not looking, then it writhes too.
So you kept saying it was never there.
You convinced yourself of your belief.
So you hold on for long, scared of it all:
you, yourself, what's inside you, the things you hide, your doubts,
your rotten side, your concealed thoughts, your disbelief, your failures, your paranoias,
your sense of trust, your projected self, your lack, your wishful thinking, your inability, your sins,
your weak points, your cynicism, your ego, your pride, your sadness, your whole life spent counting
the figures that didn't matter.
