To: You
As of the days I am back in this place fated for me to meet you, the rain did not showed any remorse in making me drenched in the blues. My family did welcomed me warm; something I never thought possible but I guess sometimes I do tend to think of the worst. Mum bought me the cakes I loved from the grocery store in the neighbourhood. I've been spilling coffee into my system for days on end. The weather's grey as hell but it is a good excuse to stay warm, caving in layers of blanket.
I still don't like to stay that long in here.
Being away in college disconnected me from the timeline behind me. I did not even remember I liked art studies and believe me, the moment I read a passage of Claude Monet's life, I was enthralled back to thirteen. Seine River was a getaway. I had the busy road facing my window to substitute Seine. But alas, I am never Monet. Right, and also I was guilty of calling mum only before an exam starts. Didn't thought a lot about her in that place. Less likely to think of my sisters. All I knew was that I was fighting for them but forgetting the subject of them itself.
I've got time to let my thoughts wander and I am quite surprised to find myself thinking a lot about what's in for me. Everything I prayed to God for was answered. I wanted a good SPM result; got that. I wanted to go to New Zealand; and it's in transit. Yet, human are at times ungrateful and turns a blind eye on every blessings they has received. I know I am ungrateful, but I also acknowledge that I am growing. There are rooms for new. There are also room for argument. It's been a long time since I had a random argument with random person in comment sections but I guess I'm back for a fight. Wasn't a very stimulating one but it feels good to vomit your opinion on strangers. Weird human pleasure.
I've got recurring thoughts about the wind chime, the one I put in front of my last high school class, and the marking of me and my best friend on the walls beside the stair foyer, the vandal in the girls' toilet and I've been missing something I cannot quite explain. The rain falls. There was flood. And that was it. I'm losing it all, that was it: my interest, my motivation, my feelings, appreciation and emotions.
Just as flowers is spring, falling leaves is autumnal, snow is winter and the heatwave's summer, the changing is followed by adaptation. Nothing would stay the same and if you stay the same, your surrounding will change. Either those two, constant was never an option. Seize life, keep flowing. Keep growing.
And I hope with growth, you are ultimately happy. Oh dear God, I hope to God you are happy.
