In these moments of weakness, I am utterly helpless for falling in love with warmth. A heartbeat that indicates that he's alive and living. In this world, he was the warmth of the alives, the blood rush, the mechanisms of the lungs and heart.
The love of my life hates Biology, yet, I would give everything for him to understands how this lives works. You can physically feel the ache of heartbreak, you can more than just feel the anxiousness of seeing the person you love in front of you. Because I can. The biological reasoning that the chemicals in my brain are rampant when I see him. His hair in the dark of dusk. His smile basking in the glorious morning sun. His lips as he said he forgave me. How such creature bore so much beauty in simplest complex of life. I take in all his beauty and ponder this whole big shot, overrated and sappy love.
The affection I feel towards this person is a force of nature. With every ounce of bleeding and tears, I truly feel alive when I am in love. This person. This person I told to not cry in front of others, not because I don't care about his feelings but I really do. I never want other people to fuck him over with his weakness. I want him safe and never hurted. Not even by me. Yet, sometimes I do slip up and hurt him when I swear I never meant to do so.
This person that felt like home. I don't fucking care if I'm just a friend to him. I don't care. I want to see him as happy as he could be. If I cannot offer him happiness, I want someone else that could give him just that to be with him. As long as there is his smile somewhere in this world, you know I am in a good place. I am contented.
The love of my life understands Physics way better than I do. This person moves in a mysterious way, more spookier than Quantum Mechanics. The more I observe this entity, the more it eludes me. There is beauty in his ways. The art of subtlety. The love of my life is someone I cannot have completely.
And this is what we are. Two different components of differing world. Overlap in certain parts, does not in other certains. But whatever it is, I cannot bring myself to see the day I would lose him. I did for six months and it tasted like death.
