Monsoon shifts gears for the sky to cry endlessly in January, when you are never home. I'd drive close to your gates where you once stood waiting for me to drive by when it was raining.
The rain condensed on my glasses.
I see your face slowly coming into focus.
I didn't realize it back then, but I was in love.
How fucking pretty it is to see you in the rain.
How I fucking wish to kiss your face in the rain.
How hurted I am today waiting in this rain for you to come home and tell me you lied to me when you said you didn't love me. Fuck sake.
Will you ever come back and tell me you lied to me?
I wrote to you but I could never send it and I, I love you so subtly why can't you see how much I wanted you.
I gave you a talisman to keep you safe but you left it home everytime.
I spent days learning to love the person that you are since.
This I know:
1. I love you
2. but, you don't me
3. You will come home
4. but, we would still be worlds apart, so you can grow
5. I love you
6. I love you
7. Please come home
8. I miss you
9. Fuck, all of my thoughts come back to you
10. If you don't want to come home, let me know
11. I will forget you if you tell me to do so
I walk by the lake we went together that one time. Kinda imagined if you were in front of me, could I have looked you in the eyes and hear your laughs and hear your voice and still say "this is not what I want anymore"?
I miss you. I still miss the times we sat in your living room when I still believed you loved me and I had one single spared thought that we could make it. If we wanted to, we could. I saw those words on your door and I thought maybe you were the one who's going to save me.
Melancholy? I'm fucking depressed.
I'd fucking sell my soul for you to call me again when I'm crying and just talk to me without me saying anything. God that would be comforting. Maybe I wasted those calls away but now, nothing I wouldn't give for you to be here with me.
How sad it was all in my head. You never loved me and it was the truth you were saying so you're never coming back. You never loved me but fuck sake you should know I love you all along and I still hope you'd come home and tell me you lied to me about lying to me about never really loving me.
The sky's been crying.
