You're seventeen and suddenly every friends you've ever had's problematic. Pills and boys and sex and everyone shedding their innocence like angry blister scalds. I kept on wondering if we even had innocence in the first place. I used to miss the ground I fell, facefirst, when I was six, now I don't. Now I keep falling into fights with dad about why my friends act how they act. 12 years was easy and the next 5 was me staring, poring at each inch of the blue sky wondering if I'm not alone. My friends are killing themselves and dying, living and I am a double sided facade. I wanted to save everyone but left alone, I wonder solemnly if having saved everyone is possible even if I tried better.
It's fucking depressing to read about the universe and the human's state of existence when you're dealing issues. I'm like a helpless spectator. A third person point of view. Flunctuation? There are no law of physics that states 17 is your point of no return. What am I? A spring bound to Hooke's Law?
Can't save everyone but can't say I never tried. Maybe all I did was saving myself, right? Right. Failed at that one anyway. Stay safe. I love you.
